SAFETY TIPS

1.  If you are a victim of stalking by an intimate partner, contact your local Domestic Violence (DV) Program. Work with your DV Advocate to develop a personalized safety plan that addresses safety risks.

2.  Get yourself at least one or two "check-in" partners (family member, friend, etc.). Arrange exact times each day when you will call and let them know that you are ok. If they do not receive your call, they should assume that something is wrong and either call you to confirm it or call the police.

3.  Set up a code word or phrase with one or two safety partners that will alert them to danger. For example, "I heard from Jane today" could signal them that the stalker is with you and they should call the police.

4.  Alert the people around you to the stalking. While it might feel embarrassing, you are the victim, NOT the criminal. Tell friends and neighbors you are being stalked and are frightened. Describe your stalker or show a photograph. Ask them to alert you or the police if the stalker is around your house or your family.

5.  Get a dog. If you own your own home or are allowed to have pets where you live, and if you can take on the responsibility of a pet, a dog could save your life. Even a small, gentle dog will usually bark when someone is at the door or window. If it doesn't deter your stalker from lingering at your home, it will at least give you the time you need to call the police or get out.

6.  Try not to be alone in unsecured places. For example, if you like to jog or walk, get a partner. You alone in a field or on a trail might be the opportunity the stalker has been waiting for.

7.  Vary your schedule when possible. While it is not possible for most people to change where they work and when they are expected at work, there are dozens of other things we fall into a routine about. If the stalker knows that you always do your grocery shopping at noon on Saturdays at a specific store, his or her stalking is made easier.

8.  Change your telephone number and make the new one unlisted. Be extremely cautious about who you give it out to, and make certain that the people you do give it to understand that you are being stalked. Even many utility and credit card companies can flag an account, warning that the customer is very sensitive about their personal information.

9.  Increase your awareness of who is around you both on the road and in public. While you don't have to become a detective, you don't want your attention to drift completely. If your stalker is following you and waiting for an opportunity to approach or assault you, you want to be aware.

10.  Have a safety plan. Keep your purse or wallet handy to grab at a moment's notice. Rehearse with your family (children, etc.) how you will exit the house or apartment if the need arises. Instruct children how to get out and what neighbor to go to if the stalker is at the house - and be sure the neighbors know if they have been designated the safe house for the children.

11.  Find a support group in your area. When the stalking reaches monstrous proportions, you as the victim can find yourself fatigued, depressed and confused. A group of supporters who have experienced or are experiencing stalking can be an immeasurable help.

12.  Maintain "zero contact" with your stalker. Like many violent criminals, a stalker is motivated by power and control. ANY conversation or interaction you have with the stalker is bolstering her or his belief that s/he can have you if s/he pushes hard enough. Beyond your initial "Do not contact me again," do not bargain, plead, argue. Some victims have found that this "zero contact" rule has, in itself, discouraged the stalker and the harassment will stop.